A friend's worth
by regie27
Summary: Impulsed by her feelings, Haruka was the one who was always by Ayato's side. However, there was was someone else in her life who was doing the same for her. This is a tale of an enduring friendship, that of Haruka Shitow and Elvy Hadhiyat.


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A friend's worth

A RahXephon fanfiction by regie27

Standard disclaimers apply

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"_I guess you're capable of doing anything if it is to protect the one you love."_

Elvy Hadhiyat to Shitow Haruka

0517 hours in the AM. That's what the red digital numbers displayed on the small silver and black desk watch displayed. TERRA air forces Lt Elvy Hadhiyat lifted a toned arm up and brought it over her forehead. Brown eyes flung open allowing her pupils to adapt to the faint artificial light that filtered inside through the narrow space between the solid metal door and the door frame. The Alpha Squadron commander stirred up unusually early this particular morning but this was no ordinary day. In fact, she had barely managed to sleep a couple of hours straight but she guessed the rest of the carrier's crew was in a similar state. The Indonesian-born ace wasn't one to openly admit it but she secretly dreaded to witness one of those haunting Mulian apparitions that had been materializing all over the globe right at the privacy of her quarters. She'd rather face them on her Vermillion high up in the sky were she could dispense her particular brand of divine justice, the type that is applied with missiles and firepower, right were they could be killed and wouldn't be able to haunt her dreams with their eerie chants and blue blood.

As Elvy adjusted her trademark uniform jacket to step out towards the chow hall to grab some much needed black coffee before the emergency briefing at 0730 hrs, her eyes stumbled upon a picture taken barely four months ago. She let out a wistful sigh. Back then, the world was at war but didn't face disappearing as they knew it. It was a group picture that featured herself along with some of the people she had worked and shared with the last year of joys and sorrows. It has been a atypical coincidence to have gathered at the same place that sunny afternoon, and pesky newspaperman Futugami had been the one to point it out while displaying one of those apparently harmless smiles of his. How the hell he managed to keep popping out of nowhere the pilot had wondered back then, oblivious just like everyone else, that the reporter was in fact a cover agent for the Federation investigating the true motives behind the Bahbem Foundation's dealings. So when Futugami noticed the impromptu meeting, he had decided to preserve it with a picture, not without the initial reticence of her and the others but in the end, he managed to get his way. The stylish TERRA pyramid was featured in the background and in the forefront, Major Yagumo Souichi stood at the left side flashing one of his characteristic gentle smiles. Beside him stood Kim Hotal and Shitow Megumi completed the trio but the young operator was immortalized in the picture at the instant she was having problems handling an unexpected guest to the picture, Buchi the cat. The picture captured the exact moment Buchi leapt from the redhead's arms while Kim looked on. However, the second half of the participants stood staring at the camera completely unaware of Megu's feline follies, as if they were in their own little world. Elvy was standing at the right side with a cocky stance, perfectly fit for the ace pilot she was. TERRA captain Shitow Haruka was at her side with a confident pose and beside the captain was the young RahXephon pilot Kamina Ayato, the exuberance and vitality of youth evident in his face.

"Interesting triangle we make there" mused for herself Elvy as she looked at the picture with a sly smile. "You look so happy here, Haruka." In fact, that day she had wondered when it had been the last time she had seen her friend and fellow TERRA comrade so happy and what was that motivated that outburst of joy. It was later on the Alpha Squadron leader confirmed what her female instinct had figured out long ago since the former Intelligence Operative fled Tokyo Jupiter along with a teenager and a winged colossus. Elvy sighed as her mind flew back to the day when she reencountered her colleague right after Operation Overlord. Haruka had been at the deck of the Lilia Litvyak with a civilian boy she recognized as the mission's objective, while she tested the instruments of her plane during routine maintenance. It had been a good thing the weapon system was off and the ordnance hadn't yet been loaded. Still, she hadn't been able to resist letting her friend know of her presence by locking her on with the crimson aircraft's weapon systems sights. The captain did not appear amused in the least by the mock threat but Elvy hadn't been in the best of dispositions either. Being the sole survival of your squadron after a brutal battle against formidable foes could do that to one's disposition and Elvy Hadhiyat wasn't known for being a mild mannered person anyway. The argument that followed the encounter between the hotheaded ace and the cool Intel operative had been a loud and heated one and ended like it would be expected: with each woman slapping the other.

Instinctively, Elvy lifted her right hand against her cheek to soothe an imaginary bruise while she remembered well why she had really been so pissed off that day. It wasn't the fact that Haruka purposely had withheld crucial information that might have served to avoid the senseless slaughter of her fellow airmen. It wasn't either that she had barely made it out of the battle alive, praying her engines wouldn't give up on her and crying in silence for her wingman. The seasoned fighter who had served with her on countless missions gave her the vital seconds needed to maneuver out from a deadly barrage from the Mulian defenses. Tragically, the pilot was hit while attempting to cover her retreat and received head on the deadly attack that blew his plane in a thousand pieces. It wasn't the fact that all their sacrifice had been just a diversion so Haruka could perform the real objective of the operation: to kidnap the boy believed to be the operator of the Mu's secret weapon. What drove Elvy to anger was the fact that the person whom she called friend since pilot school hadn't trusted her with the truth. She agreed on taking the mission because TERRA had put the request for her to the Federation by name, knowing it had been Haruka who had orchestrated it all behind closed doors. She had been willing to take a mission that had a survival ratio of less than 10 percent but her friend didn't deemed it was necessary to tell her the truth of it, that it didn't mattered how many Mulians they shot down, that all it mattered was the retrieval of the boy. Since her return, Elvy had been seething in anger and had planned to wait for Haruka to return and let her have a piece of her mind with a serving of knuckle sandwich on the side before sending their friendship to hell that day. However, and much to the surprise to those had endured her foul mood but manly to herself, a couple of days later she found herself sharing lunch downed with draft beer with that same woman. Elvy still wondered why and how but somehow Shitow managed to once again outsmart and outmaneuver her and as always, the shorter woman got her way and so they ended up patching things up and going out for drinks as if nothing had happened.

How many times had she put her career and even her life in line for Haruka? Too many, she admitted to herself. It was something irrational, yet somehow she had always ended up helping the other, listening to her as she slowly unraveled her most treasured hidden secrets. There had been countless hints of the secluded truth that Haruka held tightly to herself: the time she had asked as a favor for her to take care of Kamina when he began performing missions with the newly reunited Alpha Squadron after they all transferred to TERRA; the lengths she would go in order to ensure the boy's well being; her transfer from field agent to Tactical, a job evidently less challenging but that allowed her the chance be assigned and work at CC monitoring Ayato. There was also the very impulsive act of hitchhiking inside Elvy's Vermillion so she could follow Kamina to Tokyo Jupiter, and she would always stoically endure his foul moods and his utter lack of awareness of what she did for him to protect him from Kunugi and later, from Isshiki's paws. Elvy was stunned on how Haruka kept on relentlessly doing whatever it took to protect a boy that should have been just a mission and nothing more. Except that he wasn't.

The revelation was finally unveiled the time they infiltrated together Tokyo Jupiter in pursue of Kamina and his RahXephon. In her usual no nonsense manner, Elvy confronted the captain until she had no choice but to relent the reason behind that almost obsessive interest over Kamina. It had been quite the shock, yet it also made perfectly sense. Why then a woman with the talents and skills she had would act in ways that could endanger her career and own life? It was the only sensible reason. It had to be love. The only thing that made practical, intelligent people turn into bloody fools. She had been glad that Haruka had been honest this time around because after Shitow's little escapade and the fact she arrived back at TERRA empty-handed, she had been grounded and stripped off the command of her Squadron, not that she envied Haruka's position now that Colonel Kunugi had also been dismissed of his post. She was far more comfortable helping the wrench monkeys around at the hangar than kowtowing to Isshiki Makoto's whims. It had been during that time that she dreaded to know what Haruka could actually be capable of in order to protect Kamina. Elvy doubted she would ever want to find out what price she had to pay in order to save him from prison and a death sentence.

But there had been another casualty of their failed mission: the life of a person dear to her heart. To this day, Elvy still believed that things might have been different if she had been around the day Donny was killed instead of being confined to witness the battle from the ground. Donny made the mistake of being overconfident with the power and maneuverability of his Vermillion and in the end, paid his error with his own life. As his commanding officer, the lieutenant had kept herself at a discreet distance from his teammate, allowing just the minimal social interaction required between them, but she noticed the signals that seemed to indicate he wished to pursue more than a professional relationship. To this day, Elvy still wondered if she would ever have allowed him the opportunity to get closer. His untimely demise made those thoughts more confusing and difficult. It was easy now with the benefit of hindsight to believe she might have opened up to him but the fact remained that she couldn't be sure of anything. If only her feelings were as unequivocal and crystal clear as Haruka's. She envied the fact that there wasn't a single moment Haruka did not know what she felt. Her love for Kamina was as evident and natural as the air they breathed. The alarm of her wristwatch chirped, releasing her mind from those thoughts and towards her duties of the day, but as she closed the door of her quarters, her mind grasped a lingering thought that felt like a revelation: there had been another feeling that had been just as enduring and heartfelt for them. It was their friendship.

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The Lilia Litvyak was the epitome of controlled chaos and in a few hours Elvy Hadhiyat was about to become part of that chaos. As all the able pilots and sailors left the briefing room, most in silence, the bolder ones daring to voice their thoughts with barely audible whispers, Elvy directed her long strides towards the upper deck. If there had been a moment she had earnestly wished for a beer, it was this one. Even with years of battle experience behind her, she knew for certain this time was different. This wasn't any other battle. Today, they were going to fight for their right to exist, for their very own survival. She could sense the tension all around her, so thick it almost sucked the very air they breathed from their lungs. She sensed the muscles of her shoulders tightening in knots. It was her body's way of manifesting her nervousness. Her pride wouldn't allow any outward signal, but her calm demeanor fooled no one, not today. As she pushed the door that led to the main deck, her eyes squinted instinctively as the sunrays fell upon her. There wasn't a single soul on board that wasn't either working frantically or moving out towards the rescue boats set up for the non-combatant personnel. Among those leaving the aircraft carrier were Kim Hotal and Shitow's younger sister Megumi. For reasons she didn't know, Megumi was sobbing uncontrollably while clutching her uncle. She was glad the girl was leaving. There had been far too many loses to afford to lose those of the younger generation too. Elvy routed her steps towards the area reserved for the fighter planes and the newly added Vermillion launch pads when suddenly, she saw them. Elvy stopped, making sure she wasn't visible from they stood. Kamina was motionless, staring at the sea while Haruka stood beside him in silence. It seemed that both of them were waiting for the other to make the next move. Haruka looked radiant in her yellow summer dress but her visage of a sad acceptance. Kamina's expression however, was inscrutable, yet she noticed there was something different lurking in the depths of his eyes. Perhaps the words she had told him the night before had touched up a nerve inside and his opinion towards the captain had changed. Elvy truly wished this was the case. Either way, she was sure what her friend planned to do. After all, this seemed like her last chance to set the truth free.

Haruka wasn't planning on bet on the truth until the night both women went out to celebrate the fact that she had been fired by the White Snake in a fit of petty wrath. Drink after drink was poured as they allowed the hours go by while enjoying dinner without a care in the world. With one of them fired while the other without real responsibilities, there was nothing to take care of because none had a place to report to the next morning.

Elvy let out a loud sight of satisfaction as she banged her empty mug on the table. "I thought I had it bad being grounded indefinitely but you had to out do me so what do you do? You manage to be fired! You're quite something Shitow!"

"I really outdone myself this time, eh Elvy?" Haruka replied with a smug smile. "You should have seen my drawing. It captured his reptilian essence quite well. I think I should have been an artist."

"But you already have an artist around" Elvy replied with a wink.

The short-haired woman's features sobered abruptly. "Oh…you mean him. Somehow I don't think I could convince him of drawing something so childish, at least not for me."

"But I thought that you were going to patch things up with him."

"It is not that we're in hostile terms or anything. It is just that lately he has remained distant and I don't think I'll be able to change that."

"But…what about your feelings?" Elvy couldn't help but to exclaim.

"What about them…you know something Elvy?" Haruka muttered. "I think the time for me to face the truth has finally arrived. Feelings or no feelings, the truth of the matter is that Ayato-kun will never correspond to me, no matter how hard I try. It's just the way life is. I'm 12 years his senior, he doesn't have a clue of what his true past is and I should just let him be."

Elvy slammed both hands over the table as her eyebrows rose up in disbelief. "I…I can't believe you're actually saying this Shitow. After all you've been through? After all you've done for him? Hell, you were willing to become Isshiki's lover just to save him from the firing squad? Heaven knows if you really went that far! And now you're telling me you're giving up?"

"But what else can I do Elvy? I can't force him to love me! I've done everything I can but in the end the choice is his and his alone. I did what I did because I care for him dearly and I couldn't stand watching him suffer when I can do something about it. But that doesn't mean he has to correspond to my feelings. And I don't mind he never realizes what I've been doing. I don't want his compassion or his gratitude. I don't want him to feel he's forced to correspond to me just because he feels he's indebted to me."

"So, what you are going to do then?"

"Nothing, whenever he needs me I'll be there for him, but I've decided to open my eyes to the harsh truth. I might never stop loving him but I will let him go. If his true happiness is with someone other than me, I'll accept it." Haruka replied with downcast voice.

"But you have to tell him the truth! If you really want to set him free then you must tell him the truth. You can't keep this burden just for yourself. Kamina has the right to know. That's the only way you would be granting him the opportunity to choose what he wants."

Haruka stared blankly at the half-empty mug she held tightly, feeling the stupor of the alcohol fading. Suddenly, the pilot's hand came to rest firmly over hers from the opposite side. Haruka's brown gaze met Elvy's. They remained like this for a few seconds, when suddenly Haruka's lips curved into a soft smile that illuminated her face.

"Arigatou, Elvy."

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Elvy blinked as the memory faded and her sight focused on the two persons who seemed to be completely oblivious of the world around them or the impending battle. Then it happened. First she spoke. Elvy could almost feel the weight literally being lifted off Haruka's heart when she finally opened up and revealed the story seldom knew. He spoke in return but the enigmatic countenance in his face suddenly gave way to a completely different expression. His eyes brightened as he directed a gentle smile towards Haruka, who stared back at him dumbfounded. Before the TERRA captain could start to make sense out of what was happening Kamina came to hold her tenderly and without hesitation or pause, kissed her. Elvy felt the moisture of incipient tears pulling at her eyes but reined them as a smile tugged on her lips. Amidst the tension and the dread of the upcoming war, she could swear she felt washed up by a calming warmness and a sense of utter peace that seemed to emanate from the couple. Elvy never felt more proud of herself like she did at this moment. Everything she had done had been worth it after all.

"I'm so glad for you Haruka! You finally found the happiness you wished for. You let the truth free and the truth brought your true love back to you."

"There you are lieutenant. We're about to launch the Vermillions. Sector 4 is under heavy attack!" a sailor exclaimed as he rushed to her side.

"Got it. I'll be right there."

As Elvy hurried towards her crimson Vermillion, her eyes caught a glimpse of her friend descending the stairs towards the last rescue boat about to depart. Then, the captain glanced up and waved at her friend enthusiastically.

"Elvy! I have so many things I need to tell you and it was all because of you!"

"Don't worry. I know" the pilot replied with a grin. "Just make sure you make it out of this war alive so you can repay me with dinner and a cold draft."

"It's a promise then" Haruka replied mimicking her grin.

And as Haruka's boat began to move away speedily until it was no longer visible, Elvy mumbled to herself:

"Perhaps then, I will garner the courage to set my own truth free."

_- Fin -_

Author's Notes:

The idea of writing a story from Elvy's POV had been planted in my head for a good while but I guess it wasn't until the right idea for a story came that I could finally get around and write it. I think that my back to back doses of Noir and Madlax might have left an influence, so I ended up attempting to try my hand into something a bit different and that's were that sort of unexpected and enigmatic last line came from. I'll leave to you, the reader to make your own decision of what it could mean. Special thanks to my beta-reader Carrie, whom once I again I tortured with my constant rewrites. I hope the effort was worth it.

Hope you've enjoy it. Till the next one.


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